I Once Knew A Girl
She taught me a lot. One of those things was friendship.
So I write this about her.
There was something infinitely interesting about this girl.
I forget how we came to be friends, but I know how we lost touch...and for that I'm sorry. I was young and dumb once, and mistakes were bound to happen along the way.
I remember a night that she and I went for a walk to the school, and then through the football field. We laid in the grass for a bit and talked. I cannot for the life of me remember how the thought came up or who thought it, but I remember a bell being involved. I so wanted to ring it. haha!
I also remember a night when we sat outside my apartment for who knows how long. I remember not sleeping. After pulling an all-nighter, I went to work, and it would have been better if I were hung over. "incredible night, the worse morning" I found myself repeating.
One night we sat in my truck down at the Stevi Bridge and drank a couple tall-boys. I can remember a story she told me about her brother. I never thought I'd meet him, but the day I met him I had a flashback. At the time I could not understand why. One day i went to his house and he showed me some pictures on a wall. There in the middle of an arch way I saw her. It creeped me out!
Not long after her brother got into trouble again, I didn't see him for 3 years.
When I did he had an ol'lady and a couple kids. I never went back to his house though...it was odd. I felt like a stalker.
It's interesting how God puts a person in your life and in the most unpredictable, and very peculiar way, keeps them connected. It's just plain nuts to me.
...but anyway.
She gave me this poem that she had written before she left. The poem was her way of letting me in, though at the time I never knew it. Years later I found this poem. After reading it, I looked to see who it was about and all I saw was a "star" drawn. It made me smile. I finally got it and life hasn't been the same. Maybe I'll see the Star I once knew or maybe meet the woman she became. I always had faith in her. I never truly knew the meaning until she showed me. Lets say she was my angel with a broken wing.
Every relationship I was ever in I had been cheated on and over the years, since her brief appearance in my life, I've been trying to figure this out. What the reason for a relationship is. There is not one thing so sacred in a relationship, that cannot be shared with a friend or with the "best friend" of your girlfriend or boyfriend, right?
Yes, we're talking about sex.
If two people want to be together they should first be friends. Then continue on to the intimacy, the "feelings", the only thing that separates a friendship and relationship. But when things do not work out, it's fight or flight. So the two say "no more, we're done!" Not only does the relationship end, 98% of the time, so does the friendship and that's just retarded. All I ever really wanted with any of my exes, and the woman for which I write this post, was to be friends. It's the only thing that can last forever.
Now here's the reality of it...things change!
Being the friend is tough. People are always thinking you have some ulterior motive and that your out to get them. Some might think "hey, they're only my 'friend' to try and get into my pants." It's my philosophy anymore to understand I don't need a girlfriend. I have friends that are girls and if every now and again things trip and slip, so what. But to spend my remaining years, days or hours with someone special, someone that doesn't believe in all the labels we as a society tend to place on ourselves. Now that would be life well worth living...
Friends make loneliness feel not so dark. Wouldn't you agree?
