How to Give your Partner a Great Massage
As a professional massage therapist, I often hear comments like, "Wow, I wish you could teach my husband to do this!" Let's face it, not all of us are up to par on our massaging skills. If you've ever witnessed the grimace on the face of your spouse when you are trying to rub her shoulders, then you know what I'm talking about.
Giving a great massage is one of the best gifts you can give to a loved one and sometimes, learning to do it well is as easy as learning what it is exactly that you are doing wrong. Be careful not to grab your loved one's shoulders and pinch them like a lobster looking for dinner. In most cases, this hurts them. Hard and fast pinches of the shoulder area do not make for a good massage.
Massages are supposed to be a relaxing experience. Lighting a couple of candles, putting on some soft music and turning down the lights go a long way toward relaxation. Another way to make sure the massage is relaxing, is to use long, slow strokes. Short, choppy strokes, while good at improving circulation, are not meant to relax. Cover your hands with a simple massage cream or lotion and rub your hands together to make sure they are warm. Start at the lower back and place your hands an inch past either side of the spine. Using about a half inch of pressure, slowly move your hands all the way up the spine until you reach the bottom of the skull. Repeat this stroke several times. Another relaxing part of massage is called rocking. Place one hand at the bottom of the spine and the other hand at the top. Using a rocking motion, move their torso back and forth with the pressure of your hands. Count to twenty while you are doing this to make sure you have given them enough time to relax. If your loved one is complaining of "knots" in their shoulder area, have them sit straight up in a chair and stand behind them. Gently squeeze the shoulder area, rubbing your thumbs along the bottoms of the shoulder blades. Using a circling motion, circle your thumbs on top of any hard places (knots) that you might find in the muscle. If you are using the right amount of pressure, you will be able to feel exactly where the muscle is that is hurting them. Remember, using to much pressure is counteractive to massage, as this only makes their muscles more tense. Watch their reaction. If he or she has a look of pain on their face, back off on the pressure. They may be so grateful that you are giving them a massage that they don't want to complain and tell you that it hurts. Have your partner tell you which moves feel the best and you will be able to repeat those and give a great massage. Listening to your loved one and paying attention to their reactions is key in making sure that their massage experience is a relaxing and beneficial one.
