RedGage

How do you know your relationship is over? How do you know when there’s hope for reconciliation? Should you make up or break up? Whether you walked out on him, or your boyfriend walked out on you, these are the questions you’ll be asking yourself after a break up.

Relationships end for any number of reasons. It doesn’t even need to be a good reason. Everyone has their own internal signal that says it’s time to move on. It may be that you’ve grown apart or that differences in culture or religion are driving a wedge between you. It may be that there was never any real connection. Whatever the reason for the split, now that you’re not together, you may wonder if your relationship deserves another chance.

Should You Make Up or Break Up?

There are three key elements necessary to save a relationship. The first is love. It’s essential that you love each other. The second is chemistry. There’s a necessary bond that the two of you must share. The third is a future. You need to be able to see your ex-boyfriend in your life, not just next week or next month, but for years to come. If you don’t have these necessary elements in your relationship then do yourself a favor and just call it quits. Don’t make up with your ex-boyfriend for the wrong reasons.

When you resolve that your relationship is worth saving, you must reflect on why the relationship ended. What went wrong? You must identify the root cause, before you can address the problem and find the solution. You also need to acknowledge the role each of you played in the split and accept responsibility for your part in it. This process can take time, so don’t rush through it, winning back your ex won’t be easy.

You’ll need to have a heart-to-heart with your ex. Really attempt to listen to what he’s saying, don’t just hear what you want to hear. Resist trying to defend or explain yourself; just try to understand what he’s feeling. Don’t go into this conversation with a hidden agenda, you’re just there to identify the problems in your relationship and see if you can save it. This is important since you need to know why he thinks you broke up. His reasons may be different from yours.

Now, just because you’ve decided that you should make up doesn’t mean that it’s what your ex wants. He may not feel that the three elements are present in your relationship. He may not love you, feel chemistry with you, or see a future with you. Your ex may not consider your relationship worth saving. This is something you need to prepare yourself for. Don’t try to win back someone that doesn’t want to be with you. If he really doesn’t feel anything for you, you need to move on.

After investing so much time and emotion on a relationship it’s hard to give up on it. That’s why breaking up can be so hard, and making up sometimes seems like the better answer. But before you make up, you need to make certain it’s the right decision for you.