Thought I Found True Love
I Searched the World Over
and Thought I Found True Love...
You Spammed Another and
TTThhhbbbpppT! You Was Gone!!!*
Dear Miss Eden, I was so very excited upon finding your love letter in my email ... I thought it had finally happened to me, that we were about to embark on a precious internet romance just like those other couples, you know, the ones pictured in the ads for all those internet dating sites ... that soon we would posting our picture and success story about finding true love, our long sought after soulmate, on the internet.
From eden mkeden (misseden) To Subject missedenmk@ymail.com Sent Jan 04 2009, 06:47 PM EST Message My Dearest,
My name is Miss Eden Majzoub al-Khalifa. i am a female I was impressed when i saw your profile and will like to establish a long lasting relationship with you. In addition,i will like you to reply me (missedenmk@ymail.com) .This is because i don't know the possibilities of remaining in forum for a long time. please If you are interested in knowing more about me and for me to send you some pictures of mine,
Thanks waiting to hear from you .
With love,
Miss Eden Majzoub al-Khalifa
But even before I could reply. Before I could tell you how wonderful it was that you searched, searched high and low, searched far and wide, searched all over the whole dang internet just so you could find me and tell me just how much you were impressed by my profile and you want to have a long lasting relationship with me.
I discovered that you are nothing but ...
a trollop !
a tart !!
a tease !!!
I was not your one & only!
I was not your true love!!
I would never be your soulmate!!!
I could never be those things to a two-timing, four-flushing, booting-licking Jezebel! ... that had not only emailed me her can of love spam, but had pasted that same spammy love letter all over town!
You pasted it in comments.
You pasted it in pings.
I am sure that you even pasted it in emails to other guys too!
For Pete's sake! you pasted it to other women!!!
(well, you know ... that part might be intriguing ...)
Well Miss Eden, the answer is !!!NO!!!
NO! I won't email a yahoo like you!
NO! I'm not interested in a relationship, of any length, with you!
NO! I don't want you to send me any photos of you!
... ummm, wait a minute ...
what kind of photos are you talking about?
What are you wearing in the photos??
What aren't you wearing in the photos???
OH never mind!
Don't send me any dang photos!!!
Go back to the garden Miss Eden!
I seriously doubt you are Eve.
Actually, I think you're probably the snake!!!
P.S. If you happen to have been left $30 million dollars by your dearly departed husband that is now stuck in some Nigerian bank and you really need my help transferring the cash ... Please have your bank in Nigeria send a wire transfer to my numbered account in Liechtenstein. I will be glad to add you to the long list of other widows and orphans I am helping to launder their money.
*Adopted from HeeHaw 's "PFFT! You Was Gone!"
