Going It Alone
Now that I've turned 34 I've started to ask myself some very difficult questions, most of which are relationship related. Things like whether or not I plan to get married or even start dating again. Am I happy in my career, do I want to have a baby; things like that. The answers I came up with have led to some changes in the way I live my life
Don't get me wrong, I don't hate men. Oh no, to the contrary. I think they are beautiful works of art and have even had periods of fun with them. Usually when I am solo, I am extremely happy and at my best but upon entering a relationship, something somehow gets lost. I lose my identity and my happiness in the process. I'm not sure if it is me or him but something seems to go awry.
It's only recently that I started feeling this way. When I started dating at 17, and had my first boyfriend at 20, my life's plan went something like this; college, career, then marriage and two children. At least that was the plan. At age 34, the only part of that plan that's come to fruition is the career.
Suffice it to say that my dating life has been one Mr. Wrong after another. Wrong for me, not wrong in general. I've tried internet dating, blind dates, the club and bar scene, networking events. Heck, there isn't an avenue that I've left unexplored in my quest to meet a guy.
Although I had some fun and met some interesting people, my social life was equivalent to a roller coaster. I encountered many highs, followed by many lows. Hey, I always knew that being young was about having a blast, but somewhere in the years after college, I began to mature.
Somehow adulthood snuck up on me. Given that I was busy growing my career, putting food on the table and paying the bills, it's not surprising that I really didn't notice. But there came a day when it just wasn't cute or funny when my boyfriend came home wasted. Nor was it funny when he sat across the restaurant table from me and flirted with other women.
So, after much reflection, I'm throwing in the towel so to speak. I will grow old as gracefully as possible, and I'll do it alone. The upside? I don't have to share my bed, or someone else's problems. The downside? I don't have anyone to share my bed with for love dovey session at 2 am. Ah well, I have my stack of specialty catalogues and AA batteries!
All in all I love myself. No more worries about unfaithful guys or reminders about how pretty I used to be. I have wonderful friends, a great career; in other words, I have a full life as it is. However, that doesn't mean an occasional steamy affair is out of the question! My single days are starting to look better already, at least for the time being.
Don't get me wrong, I don't hate men. Oh no, to the contrary. I think they are beautiful works of art and have even had periods of fun with them. Usually when I am solo, I am extremely happy and at my best but upon entering a relationship, something somehow gets lost. I lose my identity and my happiness in the process. I'm not sure if it is me or him but something seems to go awry.
It's only recently that I started feeling this way. When I started dating at 17, and had my first boyfriend at 20, my life's plan went something like this; college, career, then marriage and two children. At least that was the plan. At age 34, the only part of that plan that's come to fruition is the career.
Suffice it to say that my dating life has been one Mr. Wrong after another. Wrong for me, not wrong in general. I've tried internet dating, blind dates, the club and bar scene, networking events. Heck, there isn't an avenue that I've left unexplored in my quest to meet a guy.
Although I had some fun and met some interesting people, my social life was equivalent to a roller coaster. I encountered many highs, followed by many lows. Hey, I always knew that being young was about having a blast, but somewhere in the years after college, I began to mature.
Somehow adulthood snuck up on me. Given that I was busy growing my career, putting food on the table and paying the bills, it's not surprising that I really didn't notice. But there came a day when it just wasn't cute or funny when my boyfriend came home wasted. Nor was it funny when he sat across the restaurant table from me and flirted with other women.
So, after much reflection, I'm throwing in the towel so to speak. I will grow old as gracefully as possible, and I'll do it alone. The upside? I don't have to share my bed, or someone else's problems. The downside? I don't have anyone to share my bed with for love dovey session at 2 am. Ah well, I have my stack of specialty catalogues and AA batteries!
All in all I love myself. No more worries about unfaithful guys or reminders about how pretty I used to be. I have wonderful friends, a great career; in other words, I have a full life as it is. However, that doesn't mean an occasional steamy affair is out of the question! My single days are starting to look better already, at least for the time being.
About the Author:
This post was written by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can find thousands of professional dating posts. Get a totally unique version of this article from our article submission service
You've added this content to your favorites.
Post your comment
Load More
