I'm No American Idol
Last night I had another crazy dream
I was onstage with a spotlight on me
I rubbed my sleepy eyes and realized
I faced an infamous panel of three
I said I don't know what I'm doing here
Then Simon said Shut up and sing a song
I started singing American Pie
And the audience cheered and sang along
Paula just looked at me and shook her head
And when I'd finished Randy said You stink
I smiled ever so sweetly at Simon
He laughed and said You are the weakest link
That's when Hall and Oates got very angry
Ryan Seacrest sighed and told me goodbye
Carrie Underwood and Clay Aiken booed
And David Hasselhoff began to cry
Paula said Here are some nice parting gifts
Take this Turtle Wax and Rice A Roni
You can come back and try again next year
And I hope you've learned that song choice is key.
