Lessons about growing up
I was fortunate to have 2 very awesome grandmothers. They came from diffrent worlds, but really, they were quite a bit alike. One went to college, got her masters, traveled and then married and had children. The other married young, had many children, and even took in children that were not her own. They both were strong and independent, and when it came down to it, they could hold their own. It is my goal to have that quality.I want to be able to support and take care of myself. I want to be okay with being on my own. So far, I think I've been pretty successful. I pay my bills and keep things afloat. I work hard to not rely on others and make it on my own terms. I think that is healthy. Right now, I am on my own. There isn't anyone in my life that I can see changing scenerio. I'm not pulling the "I'm going to be alone forever, poor me" poor me card, I'm just stating the facts. Yes there are nights where it would be nice to come home to someone else to make dinner or help around the house, but it isn't the end of the world that I don't have one. I need to know I can take care of myself ithout that extra help because this is my current reality. I don't know if or when it going to change, and pining for it isn't gooing to make it better. If it does change, who knows how long it will be before I'm on my own again. I need to know that I can stand on my own two feet. I don't want to be needy. Being needy just leads me to settle for something I don't really want. If I am illing to take anyone who gives me attention, I'm not paying attention. I might be getting attention, but is it good or bad? I want to be like my grandmothers. I want to find another person who is also independent so we can share life and deal with the burdens as equals. Yes there will be abd times where one of us has to be the rock for the other, but it shouldn't be one person carrying the relationship, emotionally, finanicially or physically. But that's just me.....
