Recently a family court judge in Bucks County, PA ordered a man to take down a blog called ThePsychoExWife.com .  The man, a father of two sons, is challenging the ruling on the grounds that it violates his 1^st and 14^th Amendment rights.  I was intrigued when I first saw this story because I experienced similar problems with my boyfriend’s ex, although not even close to what this man went through, but I digress.  Anyway, according to the site www.savethepsychoexwife.com the blog was dedicated to “To telling a story, based on true events, regarding a very contentious divorce and custody battle with this ex-wife.  The purpose of the website was to attract others going through similarly difficult divorce and custody situations in order to help them manage theirs better.  The Father, in this case, was ordered to shut it down under threat of incarceration and/or risk losing custody of his children.”  The ex wife is referred to in the blog as PEW, and from the looks of it, precautions were taken to protect the identity of all involved in this bitter divorce battle.  Some of the stunts pulled by the ex-wife include breaking into her ex-husband’s home, theft, accusing him of child/spousal abuse, binge drinking, being jealous of female friends, moving in and out of the home, and throwing tantrums.  Sounds like hell.  Apparently many other people experienced similar problems, and the blog was receiving over 200,000 visitors a month before it was shut down. 

Some part of me feels bad for the ex-wife.  She is described as “On the precipice of 40 and probably looks all 50-years of it.”  However, my pity is not perpetual.  My boyfriend left his fiancé two months before their wedding.  She handled the initial breakup better than I ever could, still believing that the relationship would survive.  Personally, if a man refused to marry me and called off our wedding two months before, I could not stay with him, but I assume she wanted to keep the family together at all costs.  For months she pretended to be amiable to a friendship, or a healthy relationship that would be good for the kids, but her real objective was to make me as insecure as possible, which quickly became obvious.  She also referred to me among other things as “The concubine,” and told anyone who would listen (including the kids) very private things about my boyfriend (her ex) and their relationship before he ever met me.  Things no child should ever know about their parents.  This information essentially ruined the kids’ perception of their happy childhood, and changed their relationship with their father.  As a result we had to work hard to repair the relationship with his kids.  Her kids on the other hand never really came around, and despite his best efforts never allowed my boyfriend - the man who raised them - back into their life.  Once the ex realized her efforts to be friendly and understanding would not result in my boyfriend going back to her, she started slinging even more mud our way.  Despite the fact that for all intents and purposes she “moved on” with another man less than two weeks after the breakup.  She is still dating this man, but still occasionally slings mud our way, and according to credible sources has not really moved on with her life.  She still harbors the anger and the hate, primarily directed toward me. 

While I can understand her anger and pain – after all if a man left me and then shacked up with someone half my age I would not be happy either – but at some point her own life should take priority.  In other words, if a man cheats on you, leaves you, regardless of the circumstances, the best revenge you can get is truly moving on and enjoying your life.  All the games and all the drama hurt only you and the kids if you and your ex share any, not the other woman in his life.  The middle of the night phone calls, the fake I may have cancer drama, the kids no longer want to see you and it’s your fault crap, is best avoided at all costs.  My boyfriend’s ex is an Ivy League educated professional in great physical shape, not some victim she portrayed herself to be in an effort to gain sympathy, punish him, and in some convoluted way attempt to regain his love.  Unable to let go of her anger she mostly succeeded in showing us the ugly, manipulative side of her personality that did more damage to their relationship in the first place than I ever could.  The games she played in an effort to get the man she loved back, only pushed him further away and sadly for her, even more firmly into my arms.