RedGage

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Text Messaging, Social networking,,, blah blah, all drives me crazy sometimes. 

I have already deactivated / reactivated facebook several times, my myspace is somewhere in cyberspace, never to be found again, I’m probably one of few women who hate the phone.

I just like things more personal, for many reasons.

Texting is ok I suppose for “I’m almost there’, ‘give me a call’, so forth.  But as far as a long conversation?  No thanks, let’s get together to chat.  

Everyone has had those long long text conversations or worse yet, arguments .. really?   So much can be misinterpreted.   Before you know it, your texting in all caps, [ can they really ‘hear’ you screaming? ], saving nasty names in quick text so you don’t have to keep retyping it [I have anyway] then, well I, myself have gotten to such a point of anger, throwing the phone.  Not worth that high level of negative emotion, especially over something that was probably read the wrong way has now escalated into something where words can’t be taken back, you don’t even remember what started it. 

One time was enough for me.

Social networking is a little better.  

[for those who don’t get so consumed you know what they are doing every second of the day]

You can meet new people, as we have, make new friends, keep up with each other. 

I do have to say, whether you work about 60 hours a week, as I used to

  [ that was not counting the work at home]

or not able to work at all anymore, as I am now

[be careful what you wish for, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be]

life does not stop keeps us on our toes 24/7. 

Even without having to set that alarm clock

[which I DO NOT MISS!]

or punch a time clock, I still feel there are not enough hours in the day, sleeping seems like such a waste of time sometimes..

[till my body says “excuse me,,, I’m done right now]

so I have to admit, I check facebook to see what’s going on with some friends, what their up too,, on on. 

It has also thankfully, brought me back in contact with some people, who’s friendships I cherish dearly always will. 

I have also always been a strong believer in karma, fate everything happening for a reason. 

Even those events that don’t appear all that pleasant at the time. 

Looking back at times during my own life, up to this very second, everything fell into place. 

If the bad things didn’t happen, then the plan would have altered for the good things.

There are many people I miss, painfully at times

Times  I wish I didn’t have to struggle so much

Times  when I question God’s confidence in my strength

Place s I wish I would have never been

Darkness  I don’t ever want to experience again

I also spent almost 11 years alone – no relationships – 100% focused on ‘ME’

I didn’t plan on it being that long but just like everything else that made me, ‘ME’, I would NOT change a thing. 

That time in my life brought A LOT of soul searching, finding out who I was, putting many things into perspective that I had been struggling with all my life.  

Not necessarily for that length of time, but I would suggest spending some time alone to anyone.  As lonely as it may get, the rewards are unexplainable.

But all of this brought me where I am today

at complete peace with myself

which brings genuine happiness

for too long, I felt my way of thinking outside the box constantly over analyzing everything was debilitating, until I came to the realization it actually improves every aspect of your life, opens your mind to a whole new, much happier world.

Expecting the unexpected

Learning to be prepared for anything

Never making assumptions

Learning to accept what cannot be controlled

When faced with life’s challenges, alleviate the complexity

God, grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change

the courage to change the things I can

the wisdom to know the difference

it’s so simple – it comes down to that one question

IS THIS SOMETHING IN MY CONTROL.

if it is – do what needs to be done to make it as best as it can be

if not

it’s in God’s hands

move on have faith that whatever His plan may be is truly in your best interest.

There are some things that cannot be controlled - cannot be explained.

This has intrigued me for many years – a challenge for me – something I live for.

Going above beyond trying to understand things most people choose to avoid is just one of the many reasons I will passionately, for as long as God allows me, investigate, research, do whatever it takes to gain knowledge about the afterlife, then utilize what I’ve learned to help those who don’t understand.

This ultimately led me to take John to a little out of the way cemetery, in an area the entire time I was growing up, was rumored to be  haunted, have frequent occult activity.

Our day trip proved to be uneventful. 

At least that’s what the other thought. 

Neither shared at this point:

the heavy feeling of sadness

the overwhelming feeling of loneliness

the drained feeling upon leaving.

But something drew him back, just like it did me after my first visit, which I did not share details about at this time.

He suggested we do a paranormal investigation ‘just for fun ‘.

So off we went, with one digital voice recorder my Nikon digital camera.

We obtained no video evidence, but did capture some whispers on the recorder, which set a whole new plan in motion a whole new passion for the both of us.

We started doing anything to investigate anywhere at least once a week. 

although we both believed in the paranormal before this, it opened up a fascinating new dimension put us on the path of compassion determination.

There really are lost souls who need someone to communicate with them – who may need help.

With each investigation, you gain more experience, learn from your mistakes, find out very quickly how heightened your perception becomes.

We always went into each investigation with open minds, ready for anything to happen. 

It didn’t take long to come into contact with paranormal activity that would change something within our souls, well at least mine, for the rest of our lives.

Constantly reviewing evidence researching, in order to educate ourselves improve, we were also very aware, no matter where you’re conducting an investigation, the possibility is always there in that world with no rules, to come up against something most people probably don’t think about too deeply, something you are never prepared for as much as you think you are, especially the effects afterward.

I don’t think either us thought we would so willingly walk into that situation, let alone be so intrigued

[or angry as it would turn out]

that the “push the envelope a little further” part of both of our personalities would have us returning for 2 more investigations.

It would take more than one investigation to reach a solid conclusion, however, after the first, we needed to obtain more black white evidence, not assume, based on information we were given, on what we knew in our heart soul was there.

we were not going to back down.

Rest assured, when dealing with anything diabolical, they get more angry more hostile the more you challenge or confront, you will end an investigation of this nature with a whole new perspective on the reality of their existence, no matter how much you believed before.

I started to keep in touch a little more with an old friend thru a social networking site phone calls. 

In catching up with the happenings in each other’s lives, I of course, mentioned the new adventures John I had been on.

I do have to mention at this point, it is neither here nor there with me another’s beliefs on paranormal activity, religion or the afterlife, or opinions on my experiences. 

I share them very freely I have, what I feel, is solid backup on audio video, by my responses during investigations random recordings, the audible visual phenomenon I experience on a day to day basis.

Her response more than got my attention. 

“you guys should come investigate our house, ‘things’ are going here 24/7.”

At this point, we did not get into a whole lot of detail.  She sent some pictures  

I told her I would talk to John, that I was sure he would be happy too.

Knowing her husband was a Pastor, even with the vague nature of our conversation, I was jumping to no conclusions, but did not have a good feeling, never felt such apprehension, after ‘analyzing’ just what she had told me so far, was not even remotely close to being comfortable with this.

John was all for another investigation.  I never made solid plans for quite some time, then finally decided to share my concerns about this situation with him.

targeting a religious figure?

according to her – scratches & getting physical with residents in the home?

their situation becoming worse after religious intervention?

A little confused, for lack of a better word, I asked john if he fully understood what they could be dealing with.

his response:  “there is nothing to worry about – God is stronger”

Now there is no other statement I would agree with more, but this is still on my mind day after day constantly trying to sort it out – for myself.

“are we prepared for activity that can occur during an investigation like this”

“I’ve had plenty of ‘startling’ ( to say the least) experiences before always composed myself”

“There is nothing stronger than God no matter what the situation I feel in my heart soul my faith is strong enough that God would prevail”

“But we are not God – we are human beings that CAN be affected by this, even temporarily endure suffering in the meantime”  ( I was not focusing at this point on the effects it would have afterward)

I have no way of explaining it but regardless of the little information I was given at this point, I was certain in my heart soul what was tormenting them day in day out.

I kept telling myself that during any investigation, the possibility is there to encounter something malevolent – however, we were making a conscious choice to conduct this one.

Those were just a few of the pros cons I was trying to weigh – but what made me reach my final conclusion was my passion for this – we have to deal with the good the bad if I want to give this 0 – which I will never settle for less – I have to be willing to face anything, someone out there,,, a friend, needed help.

John asked me to conduct a phone interview, which I did finally took the first step made arrangements to conduct a face to face interview during the day tour the home.

Upon entering, I closed the front door immediately saw movement a trail of mist in the corner where I was informed the baby giggles or occasionally cries, where the dog is constantly barking growling at something nobody else sees.

We took a brief walk through every room of the house, including the garage. 

Feelings were definitely changing room to room – some feeling ‘darker’ or more negative than others, but nothing terribly overwhelming.

Last we went to the basement.  I had no intention of doing much investigating – just interviewing so all I took was my digital camera, which I left down there when we returned upstairs to talk with the residents.

This first visit was pretty uneventful.  As stated before, there were definitely feelings changing room to room.  The basement has a very heavy feeling.  The black mist was a first indication, along with the information we were given of what we would be dealing with.  I have absolutely no explanation for why I left the dryer running. 

There was quite a bit of audio I was not able to clean up because of this.  I really didn’t anticipate trying to get much evidence, more just interviewing.

We got some history of the home from the residents, at least the information they had been told.  When we researched it, we did find that whole area was part of the Underground RR. 

We found no information on any deaths in the home or tragic events that happened there.

Even after the interview, we were just sitting around the kitchen table talking I could feel the energy getting higher then diminishing, but I really never felt anything ‘darker’. 

upon completing everything we felt we could, we wrapped things up headed home.  this day visit took away some of my apprehension, but not enough. 

That being said along with other reasons, we were not able to return until 9/9/11, when John, myself, a guest conducted our first night investigation.

John I arrived much earlier than our guest decided to visit talk a little more with the residents before setting up any equipment in the basement.  Aside from being night, or the fact the residents informed us their activity had escalated since our day visit, the feeling in the home was much heavier this time.

While waiting for our guest to arrive, there was a little more discussion about the home, information the residents received about a little girl that was killed in the alley that is right next to their house. 

I’d like to point out at this point, the resident is a pastor, a pastor that does participate conduct ‘exorcisms’ house cleansings.  Our separate page on “exorcisms”   [ COMING SOON ] provides more information, but in short, this is not the safest procedure to be a part of. 

The effects afterward can be horrifying, debilitating, a successful cleansing or exorcism of something of a diabolical nature will just result in the ‘spirit’ moving on, but if forced to vacate, will just move on to someone or somewhere else, very well may have followed him.

When all parties were present, we went to the basement, where we knew from the first call visit, we would be conducting most of our investigation.  After our guest inspected the structure of the basement, based on the history, they started to set up our equipment. 

Normally while this is being done, I will do a couple burst sessions, regardless of contamination, be fortunate enough usually to catch something clearly audible.

Nothing was started yet, all doing what they needed to be the first thing I noticed documented was the change in temperature.  It suddenly became extremely hot, as if it were in the middle of summer, becoming so uncomfortable, I had to sit down.

When everything was ready, we joined hands for our opening prayer.

While John was reading, my uncomfortably warm feeling turned to extreme chills,  a ‘static’ electrical feeling from head to toe.  The first thing I said to John, was something did not like that very much. 

There is only one spirit I’m aware that will have a negative reaction to anything religious.

Our investigation lasted a few hours before our guest had to be on his way.  

We walked him outside leaving all equipment running in the basement. 

I was a little taken back when I reviewed the audio from that time. 

The entire clip can be heard on the investigations page  PRIVATE RESIDENCE WEST 9-9-11.

When we went to walk outside, one resident was in the kitchen, working on the computer, the other had gone to bed.

The first thing I did was text the resident ask if she remembered when we went outside, which was for approximately 25 minutes.   Of course she did I asked her if anything happened while we were out there her answer was ‘no’.  

I was using extra caution as to not put any preconceived ideas in her head.  I then explained that we left all equipment running at the time was wondering if she heard anything.  Again, the answer was ‘no’.

“what were you doing while we were out?”    “I was on the computer   ** was in bed, just like when you came up.”

Reviewing the audio, there were definitely many of the ‘disturbances’ if you will, coming from the basement.  At that time, it was pretty much left at that.  Before I let her hear the audio, she did state that ** came out of the bedroom because he heard loud bangs.

[One of MANY that were on the audio]

We have never reached a solid conclusion as to what went on during our absence.  When we returned, nothing seemed disturbed in the least.  I do find it interesting that he [a pastor] was the only one to hear anything.

We finished the investigation over the next couple hours.  During that time, John was sitting on the well, which has a story behind it of a woman being shot, killed buried there during the underground RR times, which we were able to find no documentation of, however, after our 3rd investigation, we believe it MAY have been a portal.  

I was standing just a little to his left.  I constantly felt something brushing my right side seeing movement.  Every time I would say something, John would state there was movement behind me

[after I saw it to my right]

To assure myself, there were a few times I did not verbalize that I saw or felt something right after, Johns statement stayed the same, ‘ there is something behind you’.

When reviewing evidence the next morning, just a short while into it, I was totally convinced we encountered something very angry, someone who was not a very good person in their lifetime.  Although after hearing some of the things I did, my concern was getting greater for the safety of these residents, who do have children in the home, including a 1 year old child, I felt we needed more solid evidence. 

At this time, I also started extensive research on demonic spirits.

All three of us were addressed by name, by nickname, all of which were spoken down there.  Johns voice was imitated, there was growling heard 

[on the audio, live when we started our investigation]

the temperature in the basement was warmer than it should have been for that time of year at times.   There was also very derogatory remarks made in reference to me…. By name.  Knowing the type of situation we were walking into, I guess the only way to explain it, is I shut off all emotion just did what I had to do, until I came across the most disturbing thing for me.

One thing I heard, which stopped me at the time from reviewing our audio, was the name “Kimmi” spoken, in a very “slimy” voice, as I like to call it.   That name was NEVER said during our investigation, there was only one person that called me that my entire life.  

That would be my father, who passed away in March of 2010.

The second I heard that, I literally threw the headphones off,   [pardon the words] said out loud,

“you mother fucker, you did not go there”.

I should explain briefly, my father I were very close, his death changed me, a part of me died with him that will never come back.  Even though I was fortunate enough to have the most closure you could, say a million “I love you’s”, even almost 2 years later, I still carry tremendous anger over his death for various reasons, even though I’m a firm believer in when it’s your time, it’s your time. It is my biggest weakness, where I am most vulnerable.  I miss him now, feel the same pain I did as I held him in my arms as he took his last breath.   So hearing this name spoken by this disgusting evil voice set off anger in me that was unexplainable.

The minute John woke, my first statement was “we’re going back” 

[which we intended to do to obtain more evidence to reach a solid conclusion] 

I started planning writing exactly what I was going to say, how to trick this… ‘thing’, about addressing me by that name.  My plan was to provoke by stating I hated that name do not allow anyone to call me that.

My only focus every day, 24/7, was returning there, mostly for my own reasons.  In a way, the investigation was not even on my mind till we returned, only confronting whatever spoke that name.  I won’t back down, I will prove it.  I will prove you cannot get to me.  I will prove I’m better at your game.   That would be a hard lesson learned.

We returned with another investigator on 9-23-11 for our third investigation. 

I feel there has to be some apprehension going into any investigation to be sure your guard is up.  Any group that does this knows to expect the unexpected.  Anything can happen at any time.   Going back this third time was so different.  I was still at the same level of anger, but more nervous than I have been.  We said prayers before entering the home, prayed with the pastor before heading to the basement.

As we were walking down, John was first, then the other investigator, then myself.  Before we reached the bottom, I said to nobody in particular, just thinking out loud, “this is not a good idea.”

As I reached the bottom of the stairs, I was immediately overcome with nausea.  Being that I am on chemo, this didn’t really grab my attention in any way until I came around the other side of the well saw the other investigator just standing in one spot.  She was standing right by the well,  looking kind of, mesmerized I suppose, when I asked her what was wrong, she informed me she did not have a good feeling there suddenly got very sick to her stomach.  Another event to confirm our suspicions. 

We went ahead with our investigation, I went ahead with every question comment I intended.  We then decided to go upstairs leave the video camera voice recorder running.  We also left some light objects to be moved if possible.  By this time, it was apparent all our moods had changed.  After a while, I told John I wanted to go back down do about another 15 minutes with the voice recorder.  I was a little taken back by his reaction of taking me in the living room telling me we [or at least I] was done.  His explanation was the level of anger that I was displaying.  Yes, I was extremely angry, however, until I listened to the audio the next day, which I will explain shortly, I didn’t realize to what extent.

One thing I did notice was John.  As everyone was talking, he was leaning against the kitchen wall with his head down.  This is something extremely out of character for him.  He is one of the most positive people I’ve ever known, always brings this positive attitude to any surroundings.  After almost 2 years, I have never seen this behavior in him. 

I approached him, closely so nobody else would hear to ask him what was wrong when he looked up, the only way I can describe it, is it was not him, I never want to see that look in his eyes again.

Now for personal reasons, he did have reason to be a little upset, but this was something much darker.  His eyes looked almost blank, angry.  He really didn’t say much at the time, so I let it go, we decided it was time to bring this last investigation to a close.  John I gathered our equipment, we said a prayer before leaving the house, another before getting in the truck.  There was not much conversation on the way home, not about this evening anyway.

As we got home, my phone rang, it was the resident of the home we just left.  Both of them were concerned about John’s behavior gave me a prayer to say with him, which I did, twice.  So that just validated his behavior was extremely out of the ordinary.

  Just to explain the next event, John I had really started to have problems at the apartment we were living in at the time.  Being that I have been dealing with paranormal events my entire life, when it first started, it really didn’t bother me, odd little things always happened, even here, however, it got to the point, when he would leave at night, [he worked 3rd shift] I would just cry because I didn’t want to be there alone.  Things were escalating quickly, it seemed to be directed at me because it would only escalate after he would leave, within minutes.  I got to the point I would not even leave our kitten there when we left because when things would escalate, she would look in the direction of the noises or what I was seeing, her hair would stand on end she would go hide under the couch.  So I know this was not my imagination. Usually it was pretty loud taps from the kitchen.  The feelings there after he would leave were also much darker than just experiencing anything paranormal.  

We lived on the 18th floor of our building, every night when John would leave, I would go on the balcony, wave blow kisses.   One night, I heard him call me, thinking maybe he forgot something, went back into the apartment, to find the door still locked.  I went to the hall, nothing.  The elevator was more than half way down, so he would not have made it that far down the hall onto the [slow] elevators by the time I went out there.   I returned to the balcony, looked down, where John was standing waiting to get into his truck.  All I know, it was CLEARLY his voice, from INSIDE the apartment.     

So we get home, I go in the bathroom to get ready for bed, feel an odd sensation on my stomach, kind of a burning, itching feeling.  I looked there were scratches across the right side of my stomach.  Now just as I explained on the investigation page, the only thing I can say with 100% certainty is I did not scratch it at any point they were not there when I left the apartment, which John can attest to, as normal,,, I was running around [half-dressed] at the last minute trying to get ready I am 200% positive he would have noticed this.  The only time I felt anything during the investigation was something touch my back twice.

We went to bed, just as we were falling asleep, the noises in the kitchen started, to the point of jolting both of us up.  Still feeling emotions from the whole evening, this bothered me I didn’t hide the fact that it did.  John’s reaction still baffles me to this day.  Just to quickly explain, I’m not sure by this point I had ever heard John speak anywhere remotely close to unkind to anyone, also, especially with me, if he thinks it’s better not to tell me something [about anything], he won’t.  As we went to lay back down, he says [not nicely] 

“YOU CAN COME FACE TO FACE WITH A DEMON, YOU ARE GOING TO LET SOME LITTLE NOISES BOTHER YOU .” 

Now taking into consideration while we were in the kitchen of this home, the residents call when we got home, now more out of character behavior, I was a little concerned.

I asked what he meant, he said he didn’t know why that came out of his mouth, he almost looked a little ‘confused’ maybe.  To this day I’ve left it at that.  If there was something behind it, maybe I’m better off not knowing.

As normal, the first thing the next morning, I get up start reviewing evidence.

After an investigation, I spend hours upon hours going over audio, listening to long periods of silence staring at stationary objects waiting for some type of activity.  This was the first time I actually had to stop do something else to get my focus off this investigation, it wasn’t the disturbing voices, the personal threats by name, it was when I heard my own voice.  The only way for me to describe it, is it was not me.  I know what I’m like at my worst anger this went far beyond that.  If I didn’t know any better, just listened, I would not even say it was me.  Something definitely got into my head.

One piece of audio I did hear at one part was  “have to keep them sick”.  Within 2 weeks, 2 of us suffering from major health issues had a complete relapse.  Now my mind is going crazy wondering what happened did we leave there alone.

It was then I started more extensive research on demonic spirits realized what happened how they use their ‘trickery’.   I spent more time on this research then I ever have on anything in my life to figure out what happened.  So much time reading, taking notes, that John at one point spoke to a pastor tried to arrange a meeting for us to talk.  He should have asked, I should have clarified, that all this effort time into learning as much as possible about this subject, was to education myself, in order to protect myself our group.

The way these diabolical creatures get to you is going after your biggest weakness, I can assure you, they know what that is.  “It” knew, my biggest weakness was my anger, even more so, anger over my father’s death.  “It” knew that would get me back, it would be able to get into my head.

Full blown  ‘possession’, is