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Overhelming with loosing two close to my heart

Reap what you sow:

Psalms 7:15

Whoever digs a hole and scoops it out falls into the pit they have made.

April 25, 2016, I lost two people close to my heart. One was my best friend, A chuahua/mix. Sadly, I to make a decision to either allow her to suffer a long painful suffering from cancer or to decide to put her down. It isn't easy you know to make a decision such as the one I had to make to put my best friend down. I love her so much to where she didn't deserve to suffer. I adopted her from a shelter on May 8,2009, the day my husband and I decided to adopt another family pet we decided to adopt our family pet from a Animal shelter where animals mostly are looking for their special family and their own home.

We jumped into the car and travel to Effingham Country Animal Shelter. Walked into the office of the shelter and signed in. One of the volunteers who volunteered there at the shelter taken us a tour around the shelter to look at the animals. Out of the corner my eyes I noticed a back room. I ask the volunteer why are those puppies and dogs back away from the other animals. She said, they are gone to be euthinize. Why? I asked. Volunteer responded, because the puppies are very ill and cannot be adopted. Back in a corner I happen to noticed out of the corner of my eyes a butterscotch/white little frail and skinny chihuahua/mix. They had her crate sitting on a cold cement floor. She was skittish, very skinny, I believe when I asked to hold her she must only weighed 4 punds at least it felt to me. One can see her bones, how skinny she was. She was depressed and appeared to look half dead. She also was placed in the back room of the shelter because she was on the schudule to be ethunized on May 9,2009.

I asked permission from the volunteer if I could hold her. When she kneeled down to open the chihuahua/mix crate to place her in my arms, immediately I noticed tears falen from her eyes and minutes afterwards after noticing that I broke down in tears too. Some reason we made a connection with one another and I felt in my heart that she was the one who I was suppose to adopt. Husband and volunteer tried to persuade me not to because of her age. She was senior chihuahua so I am guessing she was maybe eight or nine years old.  Well she was one we took home that day. After I got her home she would not eat or drink. working in the medical field as a C.N.A for many years in a nursing home I learned a lot in the medical treatments. So I took her in my arms and nursed her. I fed her water through a dropper, spoon fed her wet dog food and done this around the clock for twelve or thirteen months until she started to come alive again. Called the vet when we brought her home but the vet suggested to put her down I disagree for I had a different opinion and felt she had a little life in her. She started to get stronger every day, than started eaiting and drinking on her own and got stronger every day. She lived for six or seven years after that.

April 25, 2016, she was diagnose with cancer. That hit me like a ton of bricks. I could not make such a quick decision so I explained to our vet to give me time. On April 25, 2016, when I rise from my bed, got dress, did my usual morning routine I notice Buttercup's doggy bed was filled with blood. I immediately called the vet and she did a home visit to our home, she looked up and said to me, Mrs. it is time to let her go. She walked out to her car to bring in a black bad that looked like a small body bag. She also brought in her bag filled with medical supplies, the supplies she needed to put Buttercup down. Two shots, she explained, one to put her asleep the second one would stop her heart but before closing the bag she allowed us to have time with her to say goodbye to her. She was buried in a beautiful place under a huge pine tree in our family buiral graveside.

At 9:00 pm, April 25, 2016, sister came a calling to tell me the news that our mother passed away. I was so overwhelmed already with just having to put down my best friend, Now this. I lost it. I could not believe what my ears was listening too. I was shocked. I replied to my sister, explaining to her, I just had to put down Buttercup today. 'Oh, I am so sorry sis said. I can only imagine what you're going through than hearing more bad news. For the coupld of months I lost interest in doing anything. One of the reason I was not on Redgage for awhile. I had to take time away from the computer, from writing, my crafts, sewing, did not want any company to come and visit so I was able to grieve in my own time.

After my mother passing, it was then I heard through family members how the oldest sibling who our mon was in her care, how our mom was being treated and cared for. The more I heard, the more it made me angry and stepped back further and further away from her. Just then this morning, I got my devotional book out to start my morning devotions and happen to open the devotional book to this lesson in life. Topic was I notice on the top of the page: You REAP WHAT YOU SOW!" I don't understand how any child can neglect their own parent or parents, or anybody who is weak and volnerable, can't fight back or talk back. This bother me for months after mom-ma's passing.

When our children were small if they broke a rule, disobeyed, we discipline them in a loving kind manner, sitting them down at first explaining to them to help them understand what they did was wrong. Whether they receive a paddling, such as we may all have as children, or time out, children from every generationquickly learned that their behavior carried consequences. If sibling cooperate, they may be rewarded.  If they didn't play nicely they may find themselves sitting in their bedroom alone. Their actions results in consequences. So do ours. Our consequences may not be as immdiate, but they are certain. If we harbor unforgiveness in our hearts, we made develop insomina. If we failed to be friendly toward others we may become lonely. If we treat loved ones unkindly, they may fail to show us compassion as our own needs arise. On the other hand, if we extend grace and forgiveness, we usually receive the same in return.

Therefore Christians, we need never seek revenge on someone who has hurt us. As Pslams 7 reminds us, those who di evil often find themselves tangled in its deadly web. In fact they may find themselves in worse situations and trouble and bring upon themselves a far worse consequences than we might wish for them. So our part, we need to leave it in God's hands. We can simply do the right thing rather than attempting to get even.

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