My dream wedding
The day I knew would come to one day, I would married my first love. We knew each other since we were kids and neighbors. It was some year's later he asked me to be his wife on bended knees. It was so romantic how he proposed. Since the day I could remember, back when my friends I would talk about what our wedding day would be like. I dreamed to get married in a the most beautiful wedding dress with a long tail and have four brides maid and ask my younger sister if she be honored to be my brains maid. I chose white lilies and pink roses with baby breaths as my wedding boutque. White horse with a carriage to drive us down to the beach and Pasor Harold Lefver would marry us. They were just childhood dreams that would soon fade away as all my childhood dreams.
Because of lack of funds, my wedding didn't go as I planned since I knew when. I didn't believe in dreams only because I can remember always kneeling down by my bedside as a child, making wishes that the violence in my home would go away. They were my birthday wishes. I wished that the monster would not come in my room at night that I would be able to sleep without the fear of the monster crawling in bed with me. Because of all my wishes never came to true I stop believing and I stopped believing in dreams that are not reality but all in a child's innocent mind. When I was about seventeen, and my husband today asked me to marry him, I really wanted one special day to be just mine. As I stated, because of lack of funds, I did not get the wedding of my dreams. Instead I got the wedding that I did not feel like a new bride. We got married in the home we rented, married by a pastor we picked at the last minute and I wore a dress I bought at the Mall for $50 and a thrift store bonnet. My husband made the cake which he made a beautiful cake. Not one of my siblings shown up or family members came to our wedding. It was a very small wedding, when I say small, I mean small. Shared our vows together but it was over within twenty minutes. Our wedding night my husband got to go out with his friends to celebrate but I was so depressed so I crawled into bed and just wanted to sleep the night through to get the day over with.
It was not the fact I did not appreciate the little things we had to make my wedding day special. The fact was I just one day that was mine and one day to feel special. All my life growing up I was to made feel fifthy, guilty and someone's rag doll and had only memories of violence, abuse. Living at home growing up with my parents, I never felt protected or felt safe. Here I found the man of my dreams and felt safe in his arms and just wanted a special day to outweigh all the ugly memories I had to live with all my life. Today, not having the special day to call my own to feel special, I once again felt even my wedding day was taken away from me. I don't expect my wedding day to cost an arm and a leg but just a day I could look back on and share memories with my own children to pass down to my grandchildren. I have no good childhood memories to pass down to my children or grandchildren. My wedding day was like zip zap and it was over. Like the memories of my childhood year's that were taken from me at a very young age and all I was left with are the memories I rather forget.
I don't believe wishes can come true or no longer believe in dreams because my dreams have been shattered the day my parents decided unexpectly to conceived me. Than when I was born, my parents constantly remidned me I was a disappointment to them and a accident that they wish that they could go back in time and made their dicision differently where I would of not been born. I was made to feel all my life the black sheep of the family and the child nobody wanted. My wedding day meant so much to me for these reasons. I have accept it that it is never gone to happen and be thankful all did work out well for I am still married to the man from my childhood teenage year's and we would be married goinf on forty year's. If we one day would decide to resay our vows, I would plan my wedding day one day to be remember. Maybe not exactly the same wedding day dream from the first time we got married but it would be close to it. Still we cannot afford to remarried again to say our wedding vows again to each other.
God has blessed me with a wonderful husband and brought us together to be husband and wife, to become one life. One thing I have done for my husband I have saved up enough money to buy him the wedding band I wanted him to have and had it engraved inside of the wedding band: "LOVE OF MY Life", we yet can not afford a wedding set for me yet, I have band and it not the wedding sets that show a couple how much you love them, it is the love for each other that makes a marriage stronger and can get you both through anything together.
